That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
