Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
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I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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