shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
