i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Send help, water and tortillas.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
