Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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