I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize