big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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