Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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