i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
