what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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