Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize