does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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