wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
