apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
