The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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