I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
