what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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