Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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