woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
