Sry I called you an 8
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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