if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
