I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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