I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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