Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
