you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize