a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
