Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
