I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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