my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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