so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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