the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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