first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
