Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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