drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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