Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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