I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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