And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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