Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.