So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
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she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
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I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...