I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just made out with a guy for $7.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.