Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude