i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.