I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
