I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize