Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
