You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
