lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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