Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
