barbara walters just said penis...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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