Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
