So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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