Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks

(626): View more from California

well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person

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(818): dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks (626): well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person http://tfl.nu/xqyj

Replies (13) Good night (6902) Bad night (1242)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.

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(515): Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn. http://tfl.nu/kzr9

Replies (28) Good night (1038) Bad night (5484)
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(775): View more from Nevada

A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.

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(775): A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins. http://tfl.nu/j7t3

Replies (23) Good night (4835) Bad night (1249)
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(602): View more from Arizona

You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.

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(602): You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary. http://tfl.nu/hnqx

Replies (24) Good night (5559) Bad night (1203)
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(516): View more from New York

Man, jail baloney is awful.

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(516): Man, jail baloney is awful. http://tfl.nu/9ubn

Replies (33) Good night (1148) Bad night (4194)
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(313): View more from Michigan

its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore

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(313): its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore http://tfl.nu/d5rl

Replies (5) Good night (723) Bad night (1794)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.

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(513): Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/y1zp

Replies (15) Good night (1702) Bad night (1088)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk

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(908): I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk http://tfl.nu/wvk1

Replies (6) Good night (609) Bad night (934)
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(269): View more from Michigan

Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.

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(269): Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair. http://tfl.nu/xxq4

Replies (0) Good night (735) Bad night (394)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.

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(814): My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night. http://tfl.nu/obx4

Replies (2) Good night (458) Bad night (563)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"

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(814): He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe. (814): All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins" http://tfl.nu/wnoe

Replies (1) Good night (895) Bad night (378)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell

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(306): I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell http://tfl.nu/ue80

Replies (8) Good night (793) Bad night (344)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night

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(843): He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night http://tfl.nu/ezus

Replies (2) Good night (654) Bad night (326)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye

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(812): Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye http://tfl.nu/1c9h

Replies (0) Good night (333) Bad night (507)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?

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(402): but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right? http://tfl.nu/8z8k

Replies (1) Good night (275) Bad night (163)

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