some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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