Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize