He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
