I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
