I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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