I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
two words...techno handjob
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
