Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
