honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
