Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
