let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
