btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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