remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am midnight drunk by noon
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
