I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
