So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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