she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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