My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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