Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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