In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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