i barfeds in our rink
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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