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yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
