Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Church boner. Awkwardddd
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
