There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
