I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
