Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
