I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize